i_love_freddie: (Freddie)
You have to look ahead. Look for an opening.

I learned that at a young age. A lot of abused children do.

Some people are always looking ahead, usually as a way to gain advantage over others. In such a fast-paced world, that is what has become important. The better job. More money. A bigger house. A better car than the neighbour has. Always competing and pushing for more. How many people will cut out someone else to get what they think they nee or manipulate a situation to get that opening?

Does it make people happy?

For me, it has never been about getting a personal advantage - it has been about survival. Thinking ahead to try and avoid the abuse, to try and stay away from those who might wish to harm me, to escape from situations where there was danger.

To attempt to protect my younger brothers and sisters. Sometimes at the cost of my own safety. Often I failed; how can you expect a child to confidently predict the behaviours of adults?

But I always tried.

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August 2017

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