LJ Idol Friends and Rivals - week 6: I can't even

[i_love_freddie]

I am going to admit it... I am often ashamed to be part of the human race. In the last few years, every time I have gone on to Facebook, or glanced at the front page of a newspaper, or been forced to listen to the radio for a few minutes, I come away not knowing whether I want to punch someone or find the nearest brick wall and repeatedly smash my head against it in despair.

But it doesn't stop there. If only...

A very nasty, very spiteful person called the police and made false allegations about my sister and brother-in-law abusing their child. Apparently they were 'living in squalor' and starving him. The claims were apparently so serious that a specialised police child protection unit were sent out to investigate. Know what they found? Nothing. The house was a bit of a mess but there was food in the fridge and no evidence of abuse. So off they went... but that wasn't the end of it.

No. Despite no evidence of abuse, Social Services decide that they have to open an investigation. So round they come; harassing two young parents who are trying their best, poking their noses in with their bloody questionnaires and their patronising attitude, telling them that what they are doing isn't good enough.

Oh, and here's the really awesome part. The first social worker decides that my nephew could be at risk. Why? Because a couple of floor tiles in the living room were missing, and because there were no sheets on the bed – they were being washed. Apparently this somehow constitutes neglect. I wish I was making this shit up.

Also while the assessment was ongoing, my mother – who has one autistic child, another with severe anxiety and agoraphobia, and one who is a minor – was trying to support my depressed and suicidal sister, and was practically on the verge of a breakdown from the stress. Did Social Services give a fuck about that? Of course not. She had a very enlightening conversation with another social worker which basically went like this:

Mother: So once they have been assessed, will you be providing them with any help or support?
SW: Oh no, we don't have the funding for anything like that.
Mother: …

I honestly don't know what angers me more about this whole situation. I can't decide if it is:
1) That people can make spiteful, untrue and dangerous allegations and hide behind anonymity while they wreck the lives of others.
2) That an organisation set up to supposedly protect children and 'help' families seems to be made up at least 80% of patronising morons who would not know reality if it hit them in the face with a shovel.
3) That said patronising morons don't care how much suffering they cause.
4) While they are wasting their time getting all worked up over a bed with no fucking bedsheets on it, there are other kids out there being beaten, starved, even killed because Social Services aren't doing their job properly.

I have no words. That these people – these morons – have control over people's lives fills me with sheer horror.

Comments

[richaarde.livejournal.com]

Much the same over here with DYFS. Chronically underfunded so they don't really help anybody, but when somebody sics them on a family where there really is nothing wrong, they are slow to leave.

[solivini.livejournal.com]

The same thing happens in the US. Utterly mind blowing how people can say something completely untrue and practically ruin the lives of an entire family. I hope this nasty person rots in hell. I also hope they get out of you sisters ass soon. What a bunch of assholes.

[blue-eye.livejournal.com]

They are wasting all this time on them when they could be investigating legitimate cases. How sad!

[webgirluk.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness, I feel angry for you/your sister reading this post as I have low tolerance for this kind of injustice towards innocent families. I mean bitching over a bloody bed sheet? Jesus. If they were to intrude on ANYONE's home then they'd find something to knitpick on, wouldn't they? I know they have to do their job and be thorough but this is ridiculous. As you say, focus on the people who "are" doing the neglecting. I hope your sister will get through this ok. Are there any clues as to who might have done something like that and the motive?

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

Outrageous! There is also the "scandal" of a Social Services investigation which your sister/husband will be fight. This is really appalling. How can the absence of a sheet which is being washed be evidence of anything except cleanliness?

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

Well, according to the social worker, despite the fact that the whole house was spotless and there is nothing wrong with my nephew except that he is shy with strangers and a bit slow to talk, the absence of the sheet suggests depression, which obviously means they aren't coping.

Absolutely unbelievable!

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

Lots of times the investigation depends on the age of the child involved - they are more likely to take it seriously if the child is under 3 or 5 or something like that. Even if the agency couldn't help your sister's family, they should have been able to refer them to another agency that could. That's just sad.

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

I know. Part of me understands that, yes, they do have to investigate if an allegation is made. But seriously; no one cared that my sister suffered from severe post-natal depression for almost a year after she nearly died giving birth. No one cared that when my nephew was 2 months old, they were made homeless and spent a year and a half living in one small room in my mother's house because there was nowhere else for them to go.

But someone calls up and makes false claims, and that's it. Then they were right round - sticking their noses in, talking to my sister and brother-in-law like dirt, telling them everything they were doing wrong, and all the while claiming that they just want to help.

It just makes me so angry. I won't deny that a small amount of good has come out of it in the long term, but seriously there was no need for it to be handled the way it was.

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

Basically... but there are a few decent caseworkers out there. The neighbors who did this should be ashamed of themselves. Thanks for sharing, peace~~~D

[sinnamongirl.livejournal.com]

That's stressful, I'm so sorry your family's going through all that. And, yeah, there should be some funding available for after-visit stuff if deemed necessary. I mean, if the kid is safe and happy but there's a few loose tiles he could trip on, send over someone with some cement to tack them down? I dunno. Seems simple and easy to me... which is probably why I don't work for the government.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening. It's kind of a brain-dead "zero tolerance" response to a situation that takes no actual facts into account (sheets are in the wash! You can even see them, if you like!) and tabulates perceived offenses without any perspective on whether these are actual issues and whether this is a good use of time or resources (let alone, you know... justified). :(

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* hope your sister is out of this messy situation soon...reading this actually made my blood boil...sorry state of blind system indeed and if it helps(I dunno) to know..I guess it's universal..morons like these are everywhere to be found..*Sigh* ,,Grrrr...

[watching-ships.livejournal.com]

It astounds me how this goes on when there are people out there who really need assistance. How infuriating.

[prog-schlock.livejournal.com]

Ugh. The person who called in the complaint should be ashamed of themselves. There's a lot of monsters in the world, but it takes a special kind of monster to try and create a situation where a child might be taken from a home for no reason. Once the call is made, they'll look for a reason to discipline the parents because that's easier than admitting that maybe the caller was just using them to harass people.

Its like a saying you hear a lot here in the US - "Don't call the police unless you're all right with somebody getting shot."

So awful.

I have a bunch of "the world sucks" songs in my head, but I'll share the most positive one:

[majesticarky.livejournal.com]

I like how your posts always make me watch music videos to these beloved hits that I've never seen before! Though not really sure what's going on with this one. Why does that kid keep holding up what looks like a photo of an ancestor? Probably need to wiki it or something. Most music videos make little sense to me. That's just the norm lol. REM is one of my favorites. I especially like Stand and Losing my religion... oh and Orange Crush. Too many good ones!

I always liked this song because it reminds me so much of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire without sounding so 80s.

[prog-schlock.livejournal.com]

I hadn't watched this one in years either, but my general sense is that his "world" as represented by his ruined house, has been destroyed and he's sort of both sad (remembering old relatives) and is just acting like a kid by playing in the rubble. Who knows though? :D

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

I know. You want to hear the worst thing?

The person who made the call was my nephew's grandmother.

[prog-schlock.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL.

What was she thinking? Is she a monster or just a confused person?

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

Mentally ill alcoholic. She's not allowed to see her grandson because 1) she's abusive to my sister, and 2) she is always drunk. So she frequently does stuff like this for 'revenge'.

[majesticarky.livejournal.com]

Im sorry to hear about all this drama. I hope things settle down with your family. Social Services is just very inept sometimes, to say the least...

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It seems to have cooled down a little - though we still aren't out of the woods just yet. I am just so angry at them for being so stupid, when there must be dozens of abused children out there who need their attention.

[murielle.livejournal.com]

I can't...no words...outrage at the injustce. How un-utterably awful!

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

I know. Just unbelievable.

We aren't the only family this has happened to either. It seems to be becoming quite common now, sadly.

[elven-ranger.livejournal.com]

Yikes, what a horrible person! Many many hugs!

[i-love-freddie.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you. We will get through it, it's just unbelievable that this sort of thing is allowed to happen.